Navigating Grief: Finding Strength and Healing
Grief
In death, we have the opportunity to grow. It is during these times of horror, sadness, and evil that we are tested. The goal is to not get corrupted but to be relied upon. When facing a crisis, we should strive to be the strongest person, even at our father's funeral. This display of strength builds character and becomes a point of rally for our family and others who are grieving. In death, we can mature and become a source of support for those who have suffered a loss.
Grief is not a condition; it is a natural part of life. To navigate through grief effectively, consider the following:
Talk openly about the death and the grief it brings.
Separate grief from trauma. Grief won't begin until the trauma is addressed and conquered. Techniques like the rewind technique can help in detraumatizing.
Deal with guilt by giving yourself time and space to properly live your life, which is the best way to honor your deceased loved one. Take breaks from grief and dedicate specific days for grieving throughout the year.
Grief doesn't end because love doesn't end. Each person's grief is unique, just like their fingerprint. The common need shared by everyone experiencing grief is to have their grief witnessed. They don't require lessons, attempts to lessen grief, or reframing. Instead, they seek someone who can be fully present with them, without trying to find a silver lining. Healing doesn't mean the loss didn't happen; it means the loss no longer controls us. Each person must cry their own tears, as no one can do it for them. As Mother Teresa said, "Death is part of the achievement of life."
"The Grief Recovery Handbook" offers the following insights:
"Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior."
"Grief is about a broken heart, not a broken brain. All efforts to heal the heart with the head fail because the head is the wrong tool for the job."
Shifting from emotions to intellect is counterproductive when dealing with grief.
Similar to setting a broken bone for proper healing, the emotional heart must also be acknowledged and allowed to heal.
A Grief Observed shares profound observations on grief:
Grief is all-encompassing and continues to affect us, regardless of how we react or try to distract ourselves from it.
The experience of grief involves living each day with the constant reminder and contemplation of our suffering.
Grief is like a long and winding valley, where each bend reveals a new landscape.
Grief feels similar to fear, and it can be overwhelming when we are not prepared for its intensity.
Understanding grief as a natural process and seeking support and acknowledgment can aid in navigating the complex emotions and challenges that accompany it.
Citations:
Jordan Peterson
David Kessler
C.S. Lewis
